I'm really into asian looking animals
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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