But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
