i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
