sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
