I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Randomize
