sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
