i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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