he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
