She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
