Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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