Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
