I'm laying in your front yard are you home
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
