bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
