so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
do herpes really smell.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Someone shattered a urinal.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
