I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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