I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
