..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's the barista slut.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
