Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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