My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
