worst night to have a conscience
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
