like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
