You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
