He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
