dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize