is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I skipped work to stalk him.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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