she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
