haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
