If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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