She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
