We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
