I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
