Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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