I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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