question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
