no, he came in my armpit
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
