Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
