I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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