so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
