she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
