Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
