Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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