I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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