I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
