i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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