He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize