I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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