making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
