I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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