I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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