Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
