is your mom at the bar?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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