Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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