We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
