Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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