you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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