I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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