I just cut my nipple shaving
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize