just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
