Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
