3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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