this boner is exhausting
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
