Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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