Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
