We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
