ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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