I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
