My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
