do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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