I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
