i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
