Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
