Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
