all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
