is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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