Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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