READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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