Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
