I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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