dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
