so explain again why im purple
no
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
